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Jonathan Holmes
Jonathan Holmes is an acclaimed psychiatristologist of pedophilia who practises at his Hospital Of Monsters in Boston. He has also experienced The Worst Handjob Ever. Things to do with Jonathan Holmes for fun/profit/anus Things to do with Jonathan Holmes for fun/profit/anus is a frequently recurring "segment" on podtoid. The "segment" often involves Jim and his co-hosts hatching fun ideas for things to do with Jonathan (Jim refers to these ideas as temporary fiction). Often these ideas involve Jonathan partaking in depraved acts for Jim's amusement/arousal, frequently under the pretense of some other ridiculous set of circumstances, for example the time Jim proposed tricking Jonathan into becoming a male prostitute by making him believe he was "Chicken C hungus: Vampire Hunter". Jim justifies these ideas by stating that he wishes to turn Jonathan's life into an "experience". From time to time Jim will try to convince Jonathan to partake in a business venture with him. These are quite possibly the greatest moneymaking ideas of all time, however Jonathan refuses to see this. A prime example of Jonathan's negativity comes when Jim has the splendid idea to turn Jonathan's Boston home into a western-style saloon and brothel. Jonathan, failing to see Jim's brilliance, seems to think that this quite frankly genius idea may kill them or land them in prison. Jonathan rarely sees the practicality of Jim's ideas and instead focuses on fantasticly unlikely outcomes such as death, homelessness, incarceration in a mental institution or going to jail. The ethnicity of Holmes is unknown and often speculated on. Aliases/Titles for Jonathan Holmes: *Yonatan Harlmes *The Ethnicity *Eskimo Fuck *The Cat Pimp of Baltimore *Jonathan "Luxury" Holmes *Twiggums *New Coke Obama *Chungus, son of Chungus *Jonathan Bones *The Rosa Parks of Penises *Professor Cockknowledge *Slinkerus Snunks *Boston's Favorite Son *Grandpa Cola *The Real Santa *Milky Muscles *"The only one who talks about videogames" The ideas *Once a week, a miniatured, naked version of Jim comes out of Jonathan's anus laughing. *Jim converts Jonathan's house into a zoo. *Jim haunts Jonathan's house by kicking him while he's asleep. *Jim and Jonathan move to the forest and become 18th century grave robbers . (Episode 195) *Jim and Jonathan float on a raft to the moon to acquire delicious moon milk. (Episode 197) *Jim, Jonathan and Hamza become cenobites for the summer. (Episode 201) *Jim controls Jonathan's anus via a system of pistons. (Episode 202) *Jim redesigns Jonathan's house. (Episode 203) *Jim gets Jonathan to have sex with various sea creatures. (Episode 204) *Jonathan becomes a male prostitue/vampire hunter named Chicken Chungus. (Episode 205) *Jim and Jonathan open a western saloon and brothel made in Jonathan's house. (Episode 206) youtube link *Jim, Jonathan and Conrad run a local cinema. (Episode 209) *Jonathan becomes the spidered-man. (Episode 209) *Jonathan gets his own convention JonCon2012, which culminates in him killing a dog. (Episode 214) *Jonathan becomes the leader of the Baby Police to stop all of the crimes in Boston. (Episode 216) *Jonathan dresses in a Thanksgiving turkey costume while children push pickled onions into his anus. (Episode 220) *Jim and Jonathan become barbarians. (Episode 223) *Jim, Jonathan and Conrad become teachers at Dickmouth's School of Definitely Magic. (Episode 226) *Val Kilmer's Thanksgiving Family Showdown. (Episode 228) *Jonathan becomes Captain Crack Cocaine. (Episode 230) *Jim opens a fart-filter device manufacturer and uses Jonathan as the product tester. (Episode 231) *Jonathan becomes a mall Santa and proceeds to lead a riot through Boston. (Episode 232) Images YougHolmes.jpg IMG 0513.JPG Jonny.jpg Vlcsnap-2012-12-30-01h22m43s14.png Sonic needs help by mrnorth.png Holme's Residents.jpg 460914541.jpg Category:Podtoid Hosts